But every so often, a couple will come along that causes me grave concern.The couples that worry me tend to have the kinds of issues that precipitate an 85% divorce rate, according to renowned marriage researcher Dr. At the very least, they are predicted to have a highly dissatisfying marriage.Suppose you had a precious sum of money that you wanted to invest for retirement.You tell your financial advisor that you have your heart set on one particular fund.Simply stated, these issues are: Defensiveness, Criticism, Stonewalling, and Contempt.
What would make a conflicted couple ignore the 85% warning? They don’t want to hurt the other person by reconsidering marriage. They believe things will resolve themselves in marriage.
I love giving the couple the space to be candid with one another, and to consider important questions.
I often witness a willingness to reinforce wonderful strengths, and to improve basic relational issues now and on into marriage.
Your financial advisor winces and informs you that stats show an 85% probability of total investment loss. Now consider this scenario: Suppose during the course of pre-marital counseling, your therapist told you that the history and trajectory of your interactions with your fiancee indicate an 85% probability of divorce?
Though this may be an imperfect analogy, the spirit of this scenario sometimes plays out in my line of work.
They have faith that God will work all things together for the good of those who love Him.